Thick Skin, Soft Heart

Someone once told me, (and I would give them credit if I could remember who it was,) that in ministry you need to have thick skin and a soft heart. Thick skin to not be easily offended and a soft heart to love those around you and to see people through HIS eyes. This is easier said than done. Having a soft heart leaves us vulnerable to heartbreak and pain. This thick skin, soft heart idea requires us to be very intentional and requires consistent, daily attention.  It is learning when to speak and when to be silent; when to confront and when to let things slide.  

Today was mowing day. I had been out of town for a week and the yard was needing some attention. I love working outside! There is just something about the fresh lines of a freshly mowed and trimmed yard. I love bright, beautiful flowers all around and watching my garden grow. I love being surrounded by beautiful things. As I was mowing I came upon an unsightly patch of white clover. I had been battling it for a while now, but It had grown considerably larger in the week I was away.  This clover (or weed) prefers to fill in areas previously left bald by poorly maintained lawns and drought. It has a hard time growing in nutrient rich soil. So just the fact that it was growing in my yard alerted me that something was not right.  This clover creeps along under the surface of the grass and if left unattended takes over. I had a problem and I was going to fix it. I researched what I needed to do to get rid of it and began the tedious task of digging the roots out of the ground . The ground was hard and it was quite a job and after an hour of work, I felt that I had hardly made any progress. 

My mind had been racing with thoughts, feelings and emotions. So much was happening and my heart was overwhelmed with love and concern for my friends, my family and my current situation. So much uncertainty, doubts and what ifs flying around. I felt powerless and useless. What do you do when life keeps throwing curve balls at you or those you love? When life just happens and there is nothing you can do or say to make it better? When your heart is breaking and you just can't seem to figure out exactly what God could be thinking to allow all these things to come your way. I couldn't fix it and I couldn't find any words even worth saying. 

I needed some quiet time to pray and process all I was feeling.  I was on my way out to my garden when once again my attention was captured by that unsightly patch of clover. The grass was now wet but I couldn't help myself and sat right down and began pulling out clover by the roots. This time the clover came out more quickly. The rain had softened the ground and in about 10 minutes, I had nearly removed the entire patch of weeds.

This is when God once again spoke gently and quietly to my heart. "I can accomplish my work in you more quickly if your heart is soft. Yes, sometimes your heart will break, but I have a plan. I see you and your tears. I know your doubts and fears. Trust me! I can take broken things and make them beautiful."

 This is what I must hold on to and believe.  What matters to God is the heart. God wants us to have soft hearts - hearts of love and compassion. But if we are to make any difference to this world, this will lead to hard feet as we travel along tough paths and face challenges. These challenges no doubt may bring pain, doubt  and tears, but are also meant to strengthen and grow us and to bring Him glory. In his perfect time, He will bring beauty out of the broken.
 

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